“One morning a dog comes running to a grocery store. It has a paper slip in his mouth in which it was written as 1 L milk. Surprised grocery shop keeper gives the dog a packet of milk and follows to see what the dog does next. It then walks towards the newspaper stall, selects the English newspaper his master reads, blissfully starts walking towards his house
The curious shop keeper follows him. The dog crosses the road carefully, waits at the railway gate, jumps the steps, reaches home and opens the big iron gate and finally knocks the door. The master opens the door and starts yelling at the dog and gives him a tight kick. The astonished shop keeper walks towards the master and asks him why the hell was he hitting the dog, when it did everything so perfect, for which the master gracefully replies, “I ask him to take the keys every day to open the door by himself, but he does not” “.
This is the story we have been hearing about since ages, and is a true example of expectations. The master of the dog had great expectations on him, while the shopkeeper felt that the dog was good enough to do the work equal to that of a human being. In a nutshell, the master is disappointed as his expectations are not met.
When I apply this thought to my life, it transforms into a straight answer for me.
When we expect our life to be wonderful, perfect and realize that there is a gap in between the expectations and the reality, we end up in disappointments, frustrations, anger, sorrow. Look at some of the quotes I find interesting in this regard:
I love reading self help books and enjoy introspecting deep into some hard realities of life. When it comes to expectation, like most of us, I have also gone through the rough phase of expectations, disappointments,anger, frustrations and slowly trying to change the perspective towards this. In this process, sharing few universally accepted truths with this post:
Turn Expectation into Aspiration : Often we are so engrossed in expectations, that we live in the world of self assumed goals, we pressurize ourselves so hard that we forget to enjoy little nuances of life. One golden rule for setting this right is to turn the expectation to aspiration. There lies a significant difference between expectation and aspiration, which we usually overlook.
Aspiration is completely in our hands while expectation is something on which we have no control over. When we aspire to do something, we are leaving the experience open ended, leaving no scope for disappointments if not achieved. For instance, we can aspire to live in a luxury house, and so we are not disappointed not living in one and hope to live at some point of time. On the other hand, if we expect to live in a luxury house, and if it does not come true, we are mellowed deep down, feeling frustrated, undermine our capabilities and the rest of the feelings come cyclic one after the other.
Turning expectations to aspirations is surely possible by practicing it over a period of time, by introspecting the positive and negative effects of a situation.
Count the realities: We often expect our family members and friends to behave in a certain way and when they don’t, we feel utterly disappointed and get angry at them. And the root cause is not because of us or them, it is because of OUR expectation towards them. Doesn’t it sound foolish?
On a regular day, let us observe the actions that make us happy, sad, angry, disappointed and let us introspect how we react to various situations, what makes us feel bad? Is it an expectation from someone else, which is clearly not in our hands? There is no point in whining around for situations which are not under our control, rather we can invest the wonderful time in exploring ourselves better.
Adapt : Expectations come from a sub conscious mind. We cannot have a total control over them. But, we can certainly control our emotions, our attitude towards it. Adapt to the situation, inculcate the feeling of being happy when it is achieved and also at the same time, feeling absolutely okay if it is not achieved. There is always a next time and it is not the end of the road.
Say Goodbye: I know it is very difficult, but it would be really great if we can all say goodbye to expectations. Take life as it comes and try to find happiness in our destined life. When we say goodbye, we are not setting a standard to ourselves, we are totally open and enlightened to accept life as it comes to us. That is the stage of total satisfaction and if we are able to achieve it, there is no doubt that we have converted ourselves into a divine form of happy energy.
Easier said than done, I am in the phase of grooming myself to achieve the divine form of satisfied life, and in the process sharing a few thoughts. One very important thing I learnt is
“It is difficult to live without expectation, but it is good not be too hard on oneself. If the expectations are not reached,we do not have to get morbidly insane. Just accept it the way it is, and live with it.” Do you agree?