“Naanga right la kaiya poduvom, left la indicator pottutu straighta poi police ae confuse pannuvom”
This is a very famous comedy dialogue in a Tamil movie which translates to “We show the right hand, put on the left indicator but go straight and confuse the police”.
Yes!!! That’s exactly how people drive in India. This post is a hilarious attempt to give you the tutorials for driving on Indian Roads. If you are new to driving, please refrain yourself from reading this.
The ten most important points for you to follow on Indian roads:
- When you are driving on the road, once in 50 meters, you find long poles with some decorating lights. They are called traffic signals, never worry about them. They are just meant to decorate the roads.
- Contribute your share to go-green. Never use the indicators on your vehicles. The Govt has been trying it’s level best to educate people about go green, we as citizens should do our part.
- Some people will be practicing for their F1 races or slow walking, please do not disturb them and allow them to practice on the main roads.
- If you are confused about your bargaining skills, best way is to test yourself with a person called cop.
- Never take efforts in showing indications when you are taking a right or left turn, the person who is behind you will have super natural powers to know what you are going to do next.
- The white line at the traffic signal is only for color blinded people, you may comfortably ignore it.
- When you park a vehicle, do not worry much. You do your job and leave the worries to the other guys, let them find their own way out. They must have watched crystal maze in their childhood as well 🙂
- The last 20 seconds at the traffic signal are the most important ones in your life. Drive inch by inch, just like the slow motion shown during the replay in cricket matches.
- If someone is learning to drive or has a problem with his vehicle, it’s your constitutional right to be rude to him by honking louder and louder till he gets tensed and pees in his pants.
- Save your money by watching the circus on the roads. Some will be driving zig-zag, some of them will be resting their legs on a vehicle parallel to them, some of them will be jumping on the road dividers. Why should you waste money to see these tricks on stage when you can watch it free of cost on roads.
The author is not responsible for any accidents that may be caused while reading this article during your driving.
P.S: This post does not aim at belittling anyone. I have been driving on Indian roads for past 15 years and often find some of the habits really irking. I hope one day driving here becomes a pleasure and I will re-write this post as “Rules never to be over ruled on Indian roads”. Will I get the chance any time soon?
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